Sunday, February 13, 2011

Reflections on Valentine's Day

What are you doing for Valentine's Day? Nothing, some romantic dinner, baking valentine cookies? Where did this tradition come from?

History
The origins are pagan, and not at all Christian.  Cupid ("god of the heart") was the "son" deity also referred to as Tammuz, Nimrod, and Osiris, just to name a few. He is shown with an arrow representing Nimrod as the "mighty hunter". It's said he would shoot people in the heart. His mother was Venus, Semiramis, Juno (depending on where you were) who was the goddess of love, fertility, women. She was celebrated on the 14th of February.

The next day the feast of Lupercalia began in Rome. On this day, Roman boys and girls who were usually separated would come together. The boys would draw girls' names out of a jar and would be partnered with them for the duration of the feast. Some even remained together into marriage. During this time, perversion and drunkenness was openly expressed. Flowers and sweets were offered as sacrifices to the gods.

In later days, during the rule of Emperor Claudius II, enrollment for the military had been down. He believed it was likely due to men not wanting to leave their wives for battle. So he banned all marriages and engagements in Rome. St. Valentine was a priest during this time. He secretly married Christian couples until he was arrested. It was ordered that he be clubbed to death and decapitated as a result. He was believed to have been martyred on February 14th around the year 270 AD. And some sources say that it may not have been that day at all. And one legend states that while St. Valentine was in prison, he took a great liking to the prison guard's daughter who would visit him. It's said that the first "valentine" was sent to her being signed, "From your Valentine". As an attempt to rid of the pagan traditions of the days, Roman Church leaders substituted many of thpagan names (female deities as far as I know) of feasts and festivals for Saints names instead.

God and Love
Well how do we place God in all of this? Some people are single or way too young to have a companion. And if you are married, should your love only be celebrated one day out of the whole year? Nah. The more I think about love, I think about God. I mean until recently, I didn't even know the full reason for Valentine's Day...it was just a day to be with the one you love, or when I was a kid, pass out valentines to your classmates and have a party! But Love....God is love. When I think of Someone who exemplifies true love that is unconditional, my thoughts go to God. "For God so LOVED the world, that He gave His Only Son, that Whoever believes in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life." ~ See that is love. The pain, the separation from God, the agony that Christ went through just so that we could have a relationship with Him - ummm, that's incredible! As a female, I tend to be very critical of myself, but when I think of the fact that the God of the Universe who has everything and made everything and knows everything and is SOOO BIG that he breathed the very stars into existence, wants a relationship with little me....how can you not be amazed at that kind of love?! So honestly, even if you don't have a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, that's okay. Because I know that God adores you and loves you with a love that no one can compare. He chose you...He wants you...and He showers love like no one else in the world can.

Friendships and Love
And another thought came to my mind...friends. Close and true friends are also Valentines. When you have a friend that you can go to with anything, that will pray with you, talk with you, hold you, cry with you, and just be there...that's a friend that everyone needs. "If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble." ~ Ecclesiastes 4:10, NLT. We all need those people in our loves, and even God's Word expressing how important it is that we have someone to hold us up and help us. And I've been in a place, where I felt like I didn't know who my friends were, but something I am really learning is if you want a friend, you have to be a friend. You have to put the action and the investment in as well. You can't just assume it will just fall in your lap. Love is an action...not a feeling. What you feel is great...but those feelings can go away when things get hard. Get up and be the friend you want to have! I have few people in my life that I consider to be those kind of friends. But the ones I do have, I cherish! So when I think of Valentines Day, I also think of my close and dear friends.

My Traditions

I think taking a day to celebrate the ones you love is very important...and no I don't only celebrate my love for them once a year. But sometimes, it is in these moments where you reconnect your love, or you remind yourself who makes the world great because they are in it. We all need reminders, and I think Valentines Day is a great day as any to do that. My longest running tradition is with me and my sister. My sister, Jennifer and I have been doing valentines for each other for a LONG time! Even when I moved away or when she went to college, we always sent something (and the rules are...it should be creatively made in some way...you may have to buy certain things to make it, but it shouldn't be just buy chocolate and a card). I love this tradition...and even though sometimes our valentines come late (that tends to happen when we are so busy), it is something we both love to do. Even with a husband, I recognize that my sister is truly one of my very favorite Valentines!

And my other tradition is with my husband, but even when we were dating, we would make valentines. None of this buying expensive gifts thing...whether it's in art, poetry, or some other expressive way to show our love, we do it. I remember the very first Valentine my husband (then boyfriend) made out of construction paper, pen, etc. He made this heart book with poems he made for me. So cute! Valentines Day shouldn't be about the money, but the time you put into something special for that person. And this year, we are going to be celebrating Valentine's Day the weekend right after (since it is on a Monday). That weekend, we will be going to a couple's event at our church, as well as going to our favorite restaurant, and giving our valentines. But mostly it really is a special time to reconnect with each other, and enjoy our time with each other. No phones, no email...just each other!

So whether you have a date or not, I hope you can see that Valentines Day is really just a day to celebrate your love with the people you love most...whether that is your spouse, your boyfriend/girlfriend, brother or sister, mom or dad, or best friend...and when you do celebrate...think of God. God blessed you with special people in your life as a way to extend His arms in love to you. Maybe take some time to thank Him for the special people He gave you, and also thank Him for the love He has for you! Because there is no greater love!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

New Year - New Goals and Plans - New Friends

So I haven't ever written a blog before, and I normally put some summaries of things going on in my life on Facebook, but I like the idea of writing down my thoughts, providing more details of the events in our lives, and even some of my poetry. So here it goes...

It's 2011, can you believe it? We are now in February, and I am amazed at how quickly the month of January came and went. I feel like my brain hasn't caught up with time. I wanted to 2010 to be a year that was mine...and I am not sure I even understand what that all meant, but for some reason, I thought 2010 was going to be the best year ever, and that I would grow closer to God, and my friends and family. Well life happened instead of my plans! And some of those things did happen, but some just fell apart. 2010 was a year of sadness, anxiety, frustration, good times and bad times, but then in the end there was lots of happiness, renewal, and fun! I learned this year in a hard way that friendship cannot thrive on just one person making the effort. I learned that sometimes you think you know people, and find out you never really did. I learned that to have friends, you need to be a friend. I learned that laughter is truly needed in any relationship! I learned that sometimes you have to fight and stand up for what you want to get it, even if there is a cost. I have learned that I am a creative person, and that when I take the time to be creative, I can create beautiful things (i.e with photography (my new found love), scrap books, videos, etc). I learned that marriage can be difficult with finances and other such things that seem to get into the middle of it. I also learned that it is possible to come out of those hard times and become a better person. I learned how to be content (or I should say I am still learning) in what I have and where I am in life. I continue to learn that God gave me the very best husband in the world for me because he truly is a man of strength and character that I fall more in love with and admire more each day.

This year - I don't want to make goals or plans that are stupid...it's not like a new years resolution because those always break. But, I want to be a better person...I want to speak kinder, love more, and act on my love for others more. I have some big dreams too and I have even dreamt of them in my sleep. But all along, I don't want to look at anyone and want what isn't mine. God will show us where He wants us, and He will guide us in His perfect timing. He will provide for our needs, and in the end, in His timing, we will reach our dream. After all, God orchestrated my love story so perfectly with my husband. Our love story is one for the books, and it was written by Him. So if He can make our love story, He can do anything else perfectly. I will rely on Him, and not on myself. I will submit to His will, and not my own. Because ultimately, his timing and His will are incredibly perfect!

I also am making new friendships and solidifying old ones. But I have found that my stronger relationships/friendships are the people that will pray for me, call me to hang out or just see how I am doing, and that we can talk for hours about anything and everything. And it goes both ways...I pray for them, will call them, and love to talk for hours with them. I am tired of those relationships that are just so phony...that you know when you turn your back, they won't give you a second thought. I appreciate the ability to even reunite with old friends on facebook...I love that there are people who I probably won't see and live all over the U.S., but we can still pray for one another and be there if they need us.

So my prayer for 2011 is to be a Godly woman in my actions (not just words), and when I fail, don't let it distract me from getting back up again. I want to be a person of compassion that reaches out to people (and doesn't expect that they will reach out to me first). I will be the kind of friend "that sticks closer than a brother." I also pray for my dreams, but submit those in His hands because without Him, it's all pointless anyways! I also pray that I am Sarah Marie Taber, and no one else. God has me here at this moment, and where He leads, I will follow.

But if you could keep me in your prayers that I stay strong and stay fervent in prayer, and that I truly let my actions show the love of Christ in me.

Til another day, I bid you farewell...