Todd and I said we won't be ecstatic about a new year as we were ecstatic about 2011 leaving, and then 2012 was so much harder. So instead, I would like to say I believe 2013 will be a year of promise. I just have my faith, that's all. I don't really have much behind it except my God-given facts (history from His Word, and His history in my life), but I do believe in my God. And whether things go the way we hope or not, I still leave it in God's hands. Nothing I desire has ever been in my hands...just God's. So I relinquish it. I will do my best to listen to God and obey Him this year, and yes I will fail, but I will also succeed too. I just know God is the One who knows my tomorrows. He knows the why's, the who's, the what's, the when's....etc.
I have learned so much about myself this year too. Wow, am I ever a weak person. People told me in sweet emails and letters that I was strong, but that had to have been God "fooling them" because I am far from strong. I tremble and I worry and I don't always have that faith as small as mustard seed. I wish that I did. But all the wishing in the world won't make it happen. I think for years I used to think the thoughts "when bad stuff happens, I will make it, and we will get through it." When you have been handed something in your life that tests you spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally - ALL in one year, you learn that you really don't know how you get through it...you just handle it one day, one minute at a time. I think faith is something way beyond yourself...it's not something you can "just do," I believe its something you learn and practice and practice and practice. I also believe that God loves us all so much that He can handle a little push from us or shove or yell...because He knows that life is hard. And unless you altogether leave Him entirely, I think you can still be stronger in the end and even grow closer to God.
And when I think of all the stuff (bad, evil stuff) that happened this year to others, I tend to stop wallowing in self pity. Because I think if I had gone through what they have/are going through, I would give up entirely. I don't know that I am that strong. But when I think of all the families that lost people this year because of tragedy, it just breaks my heart to pieces. And you don't get over that kind of pain...I know from my own experience this year. Maybe my experiences this year has taught me how to be more prayerful and compassionate. I always thought of myself as a compassionate person...but I think maybe now, maybe now there is a part of me that can understand what some other people are feeling. Maybe someday, someone is going to need me to be there for them because of a painful time they are going through, and God will use what I had experienced as a way to show them the love of Jesus. Maybe God will take what was horrific to me, and He will turn it into something He can use to bless another person!
But something I also hear people say time and time again during tragedies is "It's horrible, but everything happens for a reason." Christians have the worst timing when they say that stuff. UGH...I hate that line. Seriously...if you read this blog, never say that line again to another person who is hurting. It's NOT going to help them! Do I believe that God wanted those people in that theater in Colorado to be shot, or those sweet, innocent children to be shot, or many others who were killed in other countries, or for horrific tragedy caused by hurricanes, or even my Gabriel and others were meant to be lost in miscarriage or stillborn? NO! That I can say emphatically!
Why does God allow these evil things to happen? All I can say is that we live in a fallen world. A world filled with sin, evil, hatred, greed, sadness, pain, etc. We live in a world that suffers and experiences joy. We live in a world that prospers and a world that fails. We live in a world of good and evil. And I do NOT believe that God wanted the evil that happened this year - to happen. I don't believe He wanted that. But I do believe that His grace, and His love are sooo amazing...that He can use the things that were meant for evil...for harm...for sadness....He can use all of those things in some way for good. How? I don't know how. But I do know that when bad things happen, people in general, pray for one another, lean on each other, and come together. It's actually an amazing thing to watch. There is evil, but there is still good out there too.
I watched this year as people came together to pray for those who suffered a loss or injury during the shooting in Aurora, CO. I watched people pray and pray and pray and mourn as they came together with their arms of love for the people who lost a child or loved one in Connecticut. I watched people who went through the horrible tragedy of Hurricane Sandy, come together and help each other out. Money was being poured in by many people around the country to help those people. Even locally...I saw how even my own office came together to show compassion and love to my supervisor and his family as they have had a horrible time with their daughter (who was born 2.5-3 months early and her lungs were not fully developed), and they went for over a year and half without her being at home with them. But our office showed compassion to them through it all. And personally....this year was hell for me and Todd. I found who my real friends and family were, and we drew so much strength from your prayers and love! Words that were sent to show compassion were appreciated, but mostly I felt the prayers. I didn't feel alone always. I felt like people were lifting us up. And so many other stories....so yes, there has been hellish things that happened. And there is evil - but God does amazing things to turn what was meant for evil, and make good things happen. God doesn't cause the evil - He can't. He is a perfect and Holy God. He will not cause evil!
So Yes...there is still good! And in 2012, our family had a lot of joys too! My sweet sister and her fiance were engaged this year, and I am totally psyched about their wedding next year! :)
I went to several weddings this year for friends, and it was a joy to be a part of their special day! Todd and I did conceive Gabriel, so the fertility treatments do work, which is also a praise God (even if our little one didn't get to stay with us). There was heartbreak in there (and still is), but God is making us even stronger now!
We had a couple of wonderful trips (trip to Wisconsin and our 4th Wedding Anniversary trip). We also moved to a new place and bought our very first BIG item together (our new bedroom furniture).
At my friend Michelle's wedding - our trip to Wisconsin
Wisconsin Dells
Our new bedroom in our new place (love it!)
Our 4th Wedding Anniversary - State of Ohio;
had a couples massage and a traveling chef come to our cabin (shown below).
The cabin we rented for our 4th Wedding Anniversary
Beautiful lake and a lovely sunrise in Hocking Hills for our 4th Wedding Anniversary
Mexican stuffed shells - a family favorite. I made these for my husband, and he totally begs for them again! He loves them! Thank you Pinterest!
I found this recipe (on Pinterest) on making chocolate covered
strawberries that are red, white and blue (for 4th of July)
I grew closer to my husband this year...I can't explain it. We had bad times...oh did we ever....but man....I have never loved this man more in all my years of knowing him. He truly is a gift from God to me. He makes every single day wonderful to be his wife. I remember when others would tease me about how much I would "make them sick" on facebook after we first got married with all my lovey dovey stuff. ;) Well...what can I say now. It's been 4+ years of marriage, and we have gone through ups and downs and even hellish moments. We have seen a lot just in 4+ years, and I know we have a LONG way to go before we can even compare with other people. I also know that God can and will be there to help us along the way. But just the love that my husband has for me....it's inspiring really. He has the kind of love for me like Christ has for the church. He shows me so much love, grace, and mercy every day, and he is tender and forgiving and truly loving. I know I have a great man! I know it! I am an okay person, but my husband, he's better! He's the kind of man every girl dreams of when they are growing up. So if that makes you wanna gag, so be it. I am proud of my husband, Todd Taber, and I love him so very much!
I also grew closer to my family this year (parents, sis, and Wes), and I am very thankful for them. We had a very special Thanksgiving together (all six of us), and it was something for the memory books! We were in Virginia and had our own personalized historical tour of downtown Portsmouth, VA. Learned a lot! We also had the chance to visit Williamsburg, VA and had our Thanksgiving meal there! Here's a picture of all of us together! :)
I had a good year for my career as well. I learned a lot and I am doing a lot of awesome things to help improve my office/company and also grow in my career. :)
I truly did grow up a lot this year...I see things differently than I did. I love differently than I did. I care more about people than I did. And instead of wishing away 2012 or saying things like 2013 will be BETTER and I can't wait for 2013...I'm not going to do that. I think I am just going to take each day at a time, but also believe that God is going to do some amazing things in 2013! I will call 2013 a year of promise because I believe it is a year of promise. It just might not be all that I envision...but maybe it will be what He envisions for us. So enjoy the last few moments in 2012, and get ready for a new year! Much love and may God Bless all of you in the upcoming new year of 2013!
