Caleb, You are Two!!!

To my dearest Caleb! You are turning 2!!

I don't know where the time went this year, but it seemed to really fly by. But we have loved getting to know your quirks, the things you love, seeing you learn, seeing you grow, making memories with you, and laughing so hard that we cry! You make our lives so incredibly full!

In the past year, you have gone from a little wobbly on your walking to full blown running. You love dance, you love to count, you love to say your ABC's, you love to be cozy with Mommy, you love to be tall with your Daddy, you love walks, you love to swing, and you just love life!

I remember taking you to the park when you were just 6 weeks old and we would stare up at the trees. To this day, you love the outdoors and you love to look at anything and everything. You point out EVERYTHING you see. You are very smart and catch on to a lot of things (words, numbers, phrases things you see) very quickly! You love to play "I see you" (your version of Peek-A-Boo) with blankets or behind furniture, etc. You are also incredibly sweet.  You care about animals and the things that you really do love. You try to hug the TV if it has your favorite animals on it. You try to hug a picture that I have drawn on the Magna Doodle. You have such a sweet heart for your Mommy and you adore your Daddy.

You love to "call" your G-Pa on your pretend phone and watch birds out on their deck. You learned quickly that Grandma (or Gamma) will give you cookies anytime, anyplace. And that she is just as cozy and warm as Mommy. You made some special memories this year when we visited your Aunt Jen and Uncle Wes. They adored having you there, and you loved it too! You were in awe of the ocean (but you didn't want to touch it as I think you recognized the amazing power of those waves). You really enjoyed building your first sand castle! And you did SOOO well on your first road trip! You loved to watch all of the trucks go by! And even though there were all these milestones, some of the simplest acts that made you laugh and laugh were throwing cards at your Aunt Jen! Or when Uncle Wes chased you at the playground. I think it is safe to say that your aunt and uncle are your buddies for life!

You have grown into this sweet, fiery little boy, and no longer a baby (though you will always be my baby). You have tantrums more often because you are learning how to communicate and express your frustrations, etc. But we are also learning how to respond and how to handle those situations as well. You push limits, and we know it. But it's because you are such a strong and fiery personality. I believe this personality will make you go far in life! God will use that for good. I know it!

You are stubborn and like what you like. And sometimes Mommy and Daddy have to almost "force" you to try the new stuff to see if you will like it. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. But you are learning a little more that it is okay to try things. If you don't like it, you tell us. If you do like it, you definitely tell us! And if you like something or want to do something, you repeat it over and over and over!

You are such a boy! And it's fun! You love dirt. You love trucks. You love forts. You admire and try to act like your Daddy and G-Pa. It has come so natural for you to want to be like them.

But when it is bedtime.....you are mama's boy! Daddy isn't allowed to touch your back when it is bedtime. You want your Mommy all to yourself and don't want to be "bothered." Sleepy time is serious business! And speaking of sleeping, apart from the current coughing and illness you are overcoming right now, you sleep very well in your bed. You have been doing that for the past few months now. We walk to the bedroom and close the door, and then Mommy holds you and we rock and pray to Jesus for our bedtime prayers. And then we cuddle some, and you point to the bed and say "bed." And I place you in your bed and tuck you in! I make sure you have your turtle blanket, your bedtime penguin, monkey, and turtle as well. And then I turn on your penguin light that shines stars up on the ceiling, and we both say "Bye Bye Night" (as this mean goodnight to you), and I love you! And then I close the door. You go to sleep as you watch the stars and are usually out within 10 minutes time. I sure love those sweet moments with you.

You love to pray to Jesus too! We started out just praying in the car on the way to Miss Jane's house, but then we also added in bedtime prayers to Jesus. And sometimes, at nap time you want to pray. And then there have been times when you just asked to pray (and it wasn't in a car or bedtime). I love that! I love that you are starting to learn more and more about Jesus and that you can talk to Him ANYTIME! You also ask for Mommy to sing the "Jesus song." You love the "Jesus Loves Me" by Chris Tomlin, which is different than the "Jesus Loves Me" that most kids learn.  However, you love both. And you love most songs you hear on Hoopla Kidz (a website of animated nursery rhyme songs) and Elmo's World.

You used to be addicted to your binky. Binky was your friend, and if you lost it, you would sing-song "Binky - where'd you go?" It was so sweet. We were concerned that you would never be without that binky. However, you started only "holding" the binky over the past month. Your Daddy even thinks a few weeks back when you went for a walk with him that you two passed a little boy that didn't have a binky, and you took the binky out of your mouth and just put it in your hand. So maybe you are learning that the binky is for babies and not for big boys.  And then, one day, when you were throwing a tantrum, you just threw it out of frustration. It went under a car, and I couldn't get it. So I told you that it went "Bye Bye." And you repeated that "Binky went Bye-Bye". But you weren't upset about it being gone. You have gone several days now without a binky in your mouth or even in your hand. If you want comforting, you just come to us directly, which is nice! I thought this would be harder to wean you off of the binky, but much like everything else you have done, you have self-weaned from the bottle, you led on the rolling over, crawling, walking, and talking on your timing. And I think that is the best thing we have learned. Us following your lead has been good! No fights or stress. So with potty-training in the next year, I think we are going to do the same thing.

And even though your Mommy and Daddy work during the week, you love staying with Miss Jane during the day. You love playing at her house, as well as learning. She has such a sweet love for you as well. And when Mommy or Daddy come to pick you up, there is always the biggest smile and hugs for us! It's so special to be your Mommy, and I know your Daddy feels the same way about him being your Daddy.

We are so blessed to be your parents. I can't imagine this world without your sweet face and laugh! It hasn't always been easy, but our lives are so much better with you in it! I mean look at where we are right this second. You are in the hospital, and I never want that for you. I hate when you are not feeling good, and I hate when I can't make it all better. I am sad that we aren't able to have your party when we wanted, but we will still have it (just later). But we will make your birthday great even if you are stuck inside a hospital. Mommy will get you a piece of your birthday cake and we will still sing Happy Birthday and make it as wonderful as possible. My prayer and hope is that you can leave on your birthday to come home. But regardless, your Mommy and Daddy are always here for you and are your biggest advocates. Even when things get hard or rough, we are always here for you! You also have an abundance of friends and family that adore you and love you too. Always know how loved, how special, and just how much of a blessing you really are!

We love you, sweetheart! Happy 2nd Birthday!!

Love, Mommy and Daddy

Oh Apathy...Oh Complacency...Are you going through the motions?

For the past couple of days, I have contemplated even writing a post about some of my feelings. I have posted on Facebook some very frustrated feelings, but I mostly get ignored. And honestly, there is a good chance this blog post will also be ignored. But I hope not. I feel led to share....

This message is for Christian Americans. No one else. The reason being is I am disappointed in the American Christian. We live in a country where freedom is one of the most priceless things we have. Other Christians in other nations would do anything to have that freedom to practice our faith as freely as we can. And while many of those freedoms are being challenged, the Constitution protects those freedoms. Our founders viewed faith to be just as essential as freedom. And we are fortunate that we can do that. Not everyone is free. In fact, I don't actually think Christian Americans really appreciate their freedom. It is way too easy to take it for granted. I say the same thing to myself. I don't think I have really appreciated what I can do as a Christian that I definitely cannot do in other countries. Just look at the Christians in other countries who are being slaughtered by ISIS. There are underground Christians all over the world. There are people starving for Christ...longing for truth and to hear this truth, while American Christians are stagnant. We like to pat ourselves on our back for putting quotes or verses on our wall as a way of saying "see, I'm a Christian." I in no way think those things are bad. They are good. But that doesn't mean we know what it means to suffer for Christ. I don't even think I really know what it means to suffer for Christ. But you ask those people in Iran, China, Iraq, etc who are literally laying their lives on the line for Jesus Christ, and they don't flinch in their faith. They will do whatever it takes to save their family members, save their friends to know Jesus. Even if it is illegal to do so. But here in America, we have "tolerant" Christians, we have people who flip flop on their beliefs, we have "Christians" that go to church on a weekly or almost daily basis, and yet they live the same lives as people who are not. This isn't what the Christian faith is about. Again, I point the same fingers at myself. I am incredibly flawed and fall short every single day.

But I think American Christians need to get out of their apathy, stop being complacent, and actually take their faith seriously. It's time. Our future as a nation is very questionable right now. When more than 50% of people claiming Christianity voted for a man who claims he is a Christian, but can't even tell us what he values, what his favorite verse is, when he jokes about how he would date his daughter because she is hot, where he brags about the number of women he has slept with, where he claims that his sex life is his own personal Vietnam, where he calls people nasty names and lies soo frequently that it has become a joke, and where a man who flip flops on his views almost on a daily basis - we have a problem.

If we are so passive and say "Well, I don't want a pastor-in-chief" or "I just want someone to win for the Republican party," then i would say we are compromising our values as Christians just to "win." I never claimed any man was perfect or that any man is a savior other than the only Savior we have - Jesus. But, we aren't supposed to compromise our values either.

Let's look at what happened last year with the videos that showed that Planned Parenthood was selling aborted baby parts, and where was the outrage? Do you realize, that maybe 5% of my Christian friends even expressed outrage on that? Or the numerous times in the past year that religious freedom has been on attack. Or how many even mentioned the be-headings of Christians in Egypt, etc.How many of your Christian friends and family did? Did your church say anything?  Did your pastor? If they did, then you are in the minority. Why are we staying silent? Is it because we don't want to be attacked? Labeled?

I hate to remind you - but staying silent isn't something Jesus wanted for his disciples. We were told to spread the gospel. We were told to speak out against injustices. We were told and shown how to live by Christ himself. He laid His very own life down. I think of this verse: "Do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God." ~ Micah 6:8

Again, I am pointing the finger at myself on this too. I have failed on this. And while God gives us much love and grace, he doesn't want us to be passive. He demands we stand for something. I am reminded of Revelation 3:15-16 - " I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth."

I don't want to be lukewarm. I want to stand for something. And when there is injustice, when there is violence, when there is evil occurring, we should be standing up and speaking out. We should be paying attention to what is going on and knowing what is going on in our country and in other countries. And we should know more about that than what Beyonce's newest song is about. We should be using our rights to vote (how many Christians are NOT voting and should?). Our pastors and clergy should be doing more. We have the right to peacefully protest against injustices as well, and we should. I just think it is way too easy in America to be passive and to be complacent. And we should be uncomfortable with what we are seeing. We should be looking for ways to volunteer and help organizations that fight against abortion, help in ways to protect children from sex-trafficking, stand in the gap for our fellow Christians in other countries and speak out for them. We should be on our knees praying for forgiveness for our apathy as a nation. We should be praying and seeking God in all we do. We can do more. I can do more.

And part of that is in our lifestyle and how we speak about others. How we work. How we treat others. How we show compassion. We are supposed to vote differently. We are supposed to BE DIFFERENT.

This isn't a tirade full of anger. I promise. But I am frustrated. And I am even frustrated with myself. I know I could have said more and done more. But I don't want to live my life with regrets. I don't want to just go through the motions anymore. And Matthew West's song "Motions" really hits home with me on this:

"I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more day

Without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking

What if I had given everything

Instead of going through the motions?" 

We can do it. We can be strong. With Jesus, anything is possible. Anything!

Don't compromise who God made you to be and trust in Him to do this. Are you with me?