Exams and Anniversaries!!

So it's finally here...the exam I have been studying so hard for! 8 months of studying and I am about to finally take it!

As I mentioned before, I am not the best at taking exams, and they really do freak me out. But I know God is going to be there with me. It's me and God in that room. So prayers are always appreciated...this Friday is the day (10/28). But I have to say, I have been receiving an overwhelming amount of support, prayers, love, and cheers from so many on this. I feel like I have so many people backing me, and I just feel honored. My parents, Jen, and of course Todd have been so integral in this preparation. Their prayers, support and love have just been outstanding!

But in addition, some very special friends and my second family - my small group and church family have just been incredible. The encouraging emails they have sent just really help me to know that I am not alone. God has blessed me with some very dear and special people in my life! Over the past few months, I have felt more lonely because I have lost some friendships or friendships have changed, and I have had some family concerns,  so all of this was taking a toll on me. But God has really showed me who is there for me when I need them the most!

SO.....Christmas 2011, I will get the results. And there is going to be a party!! WOOT!!

And...two days later we are off on our anniversary trip to Pennsylvania! Sooooooo excited!! We have a tradition to go to a new state every year for our anniversary, and this year is the great state of PA! We are going to Hershey, Gettysburg, Philly, Punxatawney, and Pittsburgh! And because of God's help, our hotels are practically free because of all the hotel points I have racked up this year! Plus, with a lot of the craziness happening this year, we are soo ready for this getaway!! I couldn't be more excited, and will definitely update on the fun when we return!

Can't believe it has been 3 years! When I think about it, I am amazed it has been that long, and yet it sometimes feels like we have been married forever! God is really guiding us in this marriage with so many things, and I am sooo proud to have him as mine! When I think of all we have been through the past 3 years, God has been so gracious and wonderful to us! My husband is someone I can't help but admire and adore and love. He's the kind of man that God really wants men to be for their wives. He puts me first (well God first and then me) and loves me and adores me as well. My best friend of sooooo many years...actually 16 years! AMAZING! Not only married for 3 years...my best friend of 16 years! I can't imagine being without him.

                                  First date in 1996.

                    Our wedding day - November 1, 2008

Best Day Ever!!

It truly was the best day of my life - November 1, 2008! I married my best friend and love of my life on that day, and he still holds my heart! Best day ever! So for those who pray for me and Todd and our marriage, I appreciate those prayers! I think too many times we get caught up in our own selfishness (especially me) or we get too comfortable and then give up too fast. I don't want to do that. Todd didn't give up on me when he waited to date me when I was old enough and turned 16 (waited 10 months), and then he didn't give up on me when we moved our separate ways in college, or when I moved to New Jersey. He didn't give up on me during so many trying times. How could I ever give up on him? I love him so very much and look forward to TONS of anniversaries together!

Dreams

Most of the time dreams can fill a person with vague images
And then you wake up and can't remember what you had dreamt
And mostly I dream of scary situations due to stress
Or just random times with family or friends because of a conversation I had earlier

You ever dream of something so real you can touch it?
You ever desire something so much you can actually feel it?
I have a dream that's all mine
I see that little one in my arms
And he has his Daddy's eyes
And a smile that will melt your heart

And I also see her
She’s a beauty with golden locks
A giggle that is infectious
And she has her Daddy wrapped around her little finger

And often times I realize I am dreaming while I am in it
And I sob because I don't want to leave that little boy or little girl
They are the ones I have been dreaming of for a long time now
They already have their names, and have had those names for years now
Those little ones have my heart and I just long to see them

I have allowed fear and worry to consume me at the thought this dream is only a dream
I have allowed my tears to consume my whole being
I allowed other's experiences
To determine whether I am hopeful or not
And even questioned the dream itself

But yet, I still yearn and desire to hold that little boy and little girl
With blonde hair and blue sapphire eyes
That loves to be held in mommy's arms as I rock them to sleep
And sing to them softly
A little boy that loves to play in forts, and build with legos
A little girl that loves to play dress up and has a million stuffed animals (just like her mom!)

A little boy that loves to wrestle with Daddy
And will hold his Daddy's hand as they go for a walk
A little girl that says "I love you, Mommy"
And I can't help but cry because that title is mine

A dream that is still that, but I see it so vividly
Would God have given me their names and meanings
If they weren’t going to become a reality?
Would I dream of that little boy and little girl
And cry at the very thought that they might not exist?

No - I will not give up on my dream of that little boy and little girl
I can't believe that God would give me that dream
Only for it to stay a dream only
I will trust, even when I don't see the "how"

I promise to give them both to the Lord
Completely dedicate them to God
I promise to teach them both all about Jesus
And will show them that the love of God is so vast and deep

I will talk about the amazing miracles He has done
Including the birth of my little one
I will tell them about Christ's sacrifice
Just so He could be with us in eternity

This dream will someday become a reality
A hope realized
A path finally seen

Roadtrips and Wetlands

Wow, so the past couple of weeks have been sooo insane. The last weekend in July, with my parents, I helped move my sister into her new place in Virginia Beach for law school. My parents were in one vehicle, and I was in my sister's car. The road trip was 12 hours long one way, but I think we had a lot of fun! We were listening to all kinds of music and singing, and it reminded me of the time they all helped me move out to New Jersey. I took pictures along the way that I put out on facebook, but attached some here too.

Driving through the mountains of West Virginia

Getting closer to her new place...lovely view

Jen's excited to be almost there!

We essentially took the trip through Chillicothe in southeastern Ohio through West Virginia, and then to Virginia. There was a lot of mountain driving that was very lovely! My mom even played "I Spy" with us via text (since she was in the other car). It was pretty funny! But nothing surpassed the moment, when we saw signs for Virginia Beach or passed all of the exits for historic places. Jen was soo excited. So much to do there, and it is incredibly lovely there too! I love the colonial look on so many of the buildings.

Gorgeous view at our hotel

This was our view from our hotel room!

When we got there, we went straight to her little house she is renting with another first year law student. It is sooo cute! So small, but so cute! She is already making it into a place that really shows her personality too. So we stayed for two nights in a very nice hotel in Nofolk, and it overlooked the water and a beautiful skyline (see pics). Jen and I had one room together, and it was great! I think the last time we stayed in a hotel room together was 2007 (when we went to France). So it was just fun to have that sister time and talk and just be like old times too!

Jen's new place!

Regent University - her new campus!

Robertson Hall - Jen's law building

Virginia Beach - lots of umbrellas!

We also got her all set up with everything she would need in her new place as well. We saw her new campus, and boy is it gorgeous! Her library is gorgeous...her law building is gorgeous! I just loved the campus! And we also took a littel bit of a break to see Virginia Beach (since I never had seen it). I have been to many beaches, but I have never seen sooooooo many people on one beach. It was insane! But I loved seeing all of the umbrellas.

Saying goodbye was pretty darn hard on everyone. I hate seeing my family cry, and so it was rough. I didn't cry unti I came back home honestly. I think it was because it hadn't really hit me that she was 12 hours away and that the next time I might see her would be Thanksgiving (maybe), and then Christmas! So that's pretty tough, but that's what Skype is for! Plus, you know, I know she can do this. I know that Jen can do whatever she wants with God's help. I know she was nervous, but I think Jen is already starting to enjoy herself out there. She had some classes and is really liking them so far. And it was hard for me in New Jersey at first as well, but God took care of me out there as well. I grew the most when I lived out there. I hated New Jersey (still do) with a passion, but I learned to like me and to love me (which I always struggled with), and also depend on God. And I also learned how to be street smart and drive pretty darn well (Philly, New York, New Jersey - will do that to you!). But the same goes for Jen - God will take care of her, and He is the One that gave her this calling in the first place. Whether she goes after being a Supreme Court Judge (which I think she will), or God calls her in some other way, doesn't matter to me. She will be great! I am proud of her and nothing can take away that pride. I love you, Jennifer! You have your entire family and friends back here in the mid-west rooting for you every step of the way.

So after I got back, I had to head up to Pennsylvania for a long work job - 12 days straight! I can't give away any client information, but essentially, I was working in the wetlands (royally sucked!) grabbing samples. The first few days were just soo terrible. Everyone knows my fear of snakes, and so I was praying a lot (and had others praying) that I wouldn't see any. And thanks be to God, I didn't! But the terrain was terrible. I have never had to sample in conditions like this before. I was working in wetlands with cattails at least 5 ft taller than me and very tight together. The mucky mud was terrible, and I fell NUMEROUS times. There is this grass called "saw grass" that looks just like very tall grass until you rub up against it. It cuts you like knives! In one day, I counted 22 cuts on my arms just because I rubbed up against this saw grass. I did end up getting poison ivy (on my stomach of all places), but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. So yeah conditions were not fun, especially for an engineer that isn't used to this stuff. It's one thing if you do this stuff for a living and are used to it, its another when you were just helping out a team because they needed people and you didn't have anything on plan for two weeks.

So anyways, by the 4th day, my field team leader saw me struggle (and I didn't complain during this time, I just fell a lot and people noted I wasn't used to it), and she asked me if I wanted to go home and they could get a replacement, or if I wanted to do something else. Now as much as my body and my mind both were saying "YES - I want out of here!" - I know it isn't the right thing. I told her I just wanted a little break from the wetlands sampling and I could do sample prep and other things back at the campsite just for a day. Well, they got me trained on that stuff, and the guy who was originally doing the sample prep at the campsite, went in my place. He actually loved being the wetland and wanted to do it. So Day 5 through 12, I didn't have to go back in the wetlands (except once). Talk about a "praise God" moment for me. We all have our gifts I have decided...we all have things we are good at. This wetland sampling wasn't it for me. And that's okay. I accept that I have other gifts. But if there is anything I wanted people to see was that I am stubborn and I don't quit on a team, even when it sucks. I wasn't expecting to work the rest of the time back at the campsite doing the sample prep, but God made it all work. And I know even if I had to work in the wetland the whole time, He still would have made it work. But since He came through for me, I really tried to put forth my best with the sample preps and do a thorough job with that.

I think this whole thing taught me that when things get tough, God sees it and is there. He cares about the little things (I was in places where snakes were, but I didn't see one). He gives me strength when I need it the most. And He made the way for me to work at the campsite the rest of the time in the field, and I can't thank Him enough for that. God is good. I really saw how much He cares about the things I care about. He also gave me some amazing Skype and phone calls with family/friends while I was out there...thank you to those people who were my cheerleaders through this! Thank you to my family and friends who prayed for me...it worked!

And so driving home, I made a pit stop in Punxsutawney. I got to see Punxsutawney Phil (see pics). It's a very little town, but it was cool to see nonetheless. Plus, I really love the movie Groundhog Day. It wasn't quite like I expected, but that's okay.

Phil's Burrow

That little ball of fur is Phil. He was sleeping.

Where all the festivities happen!

They had lots of groundhog statues around town. I posed with one!

And so, I am home now, and I am really really happy to be home now with my husband!!! God knows I missed him so much!! God answered other prayers on that trip, as well, for some big dreams we have as a family. I am trusting and having faith in Him through those things as well. But all in all, God is God and was with me every step of the way. And He will be there every step of Jennifer's path too! So as exciting as the roadtrip was with Jennifer, and as horrible as the wetlands were, I think God really taught me a ton during those two weeks of highs and lows. He taught me that He is God and I really needn't worry about my life or my sister's life when He holds us in His Hands. He taught me that He cares about the little things and big things of life. He really showed me His love over these past two weeks, and I can't help but praise Him!

So now...time for church and a date night with my husband! So happy to be home!

How Long O Lord?

"How long, O Jehovah? wilt thou forget me for ever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, Having sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? Consider [and] answer me, O Jehovah my God: Lighten mine eyes...But I have trusted in thy loving kindness; My heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto Jehovah, Because he hath dealt bountifully with me." Psalm 13:1-6

No other words really state how I am feeling. When I read this passage from Scripture, I was instantly moved to tears. Boy did David have a way with words. He faced worse trials than I can even imagine, and yet he trusted in God despite his pain. But he was honest with God. He didn't hide his feeling with Him. And that's me...that's me here and now. I won't hide who I am right now. I am allowed to be sad feel ticked off  because what I feel is "unfair." I know God is God and I am not. And the one thing I value second to the fact that I was saved by Jesus, is my relationship with Christ. No one can take away the relationship I have where I can talk to Him at any point of any day, even deep into the night, and He is there. No one can take a relationship where I am beyond open and can just talk and talk and talk to Him. And when I don't want to talk, I can just cry and cry and cry to Him. So yes I am sad...much like David here. But, at least I have Jesus. At least I have my Savior to talk to and even ask "How long O Lord?"

Effort, Sweat and Action...Today's Devotional

"...giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self control, to self control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." ~ 2 Peter 1:5-8

My devotional today emphasized the action of "adding to your faith..." What does this mean? It means it is an action on OUR part to obtain those spiritual habits. We can't just expect to pray to God that we will have those actions and "TA DA!! I am now a person of self control, virtue, godliness, etc..." It is a daily (sometimes hourly) action that we must take on ourselves to be those things. After all in Phillipians 2:12 - we are told to "work out your own faith." And right now I have been praying for a lot of things (some I can share, some I cannot share on here). I have problems though with jealousy/envy, especially when I see what I view as others who "don't deserve it" getting exactly what they want. I feel almost like the prodigal's brother...I see people who live their lives without Christ or they live their lives as they want and don't care about the consequences, and then they get what they want. It can be frustrating to wait for what you think you deserve. Yet, the things I want require action on my part. And if I want to be free from jealousy and envy, I need to put action in stopping those feelings and focusing on the righteous things of God. I need to put the time and action into those things I want. The more action I put in praying for others, the more action I put into helping others, the more action I put into spending QUALITY time in God's word, and the more I put action into genuine love, the more those fruits will abound. I think so often as Christians, we think if we pray for something (whether it is something, someone, or a virtue), we think God is going to give it to us without having to work very hard for it. But the lesson in this devotional today is teaching me that if I want to be less jealous, I need to act and be less jealous. I need to stop focusing on the bitterness or anger, and be happy for those people. And then I also need to focus on what I do have. It requires effort, sweat, and action.

I don't know if this is where others are at, but this is totally where I am at right now. And this was a much needed lesson this morning.

Blessings to you all!

Sarah

The Battle

A shadow pulls me in,

tempting my utmost being

I hear an inner voice saying, "Flee from your desires, Flee!"

Sucking me in by illusion

I have experienced first hand what trouble causes

A knife bearing down in my soul

cries of fear and hope

yet who can hear me?

Who will save me from this world?

A white chariot, A wondrous man

Moving me to safety as he fights the war.

Clashing of the swords, lightning banging

To the left, then the right, left again

A clasp of thunder shouts.

Did someone win?

A cold chill runs down my spine as the wind becomes stronger

Out of fear of the unknown, I peek

To my dismay, a trickle of blood flows

From the side of the gallant warrior

There he lay, so solemn and peaceful

The corner of my eye revealed,

the luring shadow laughing heartily

"I've won, I've won!"

Instantly, my eyes filled with sorrow and pain

The agony, the torture this man suffered

And he did it for me?

Suddenly....

A bright light shone,

the earth shaking....

I couldn't maintain my balance and I fell to the ground

I looked at the deceased Savior,

yet found only strips of cloth

"Where has he gone?"

"What has become of this One?"

Then I turned around

There stood the man, brighter than even the sun

with the sword in his hand, held out in the sky

He smiled and said "My dear child

Do not be afraid. Come to me

and I will give you rest!"

The shadow had disappeared, yet somehow

it was assumed he was still there

watching my every move

Fear took a hold of me again

and I asked, "But, what shall I do

if the evil comes again?"

He looked into my eyes, with a piercing light

held me in his arms and said,

"Fear not, my young lamb. The price was paid for you."

I wanted to ask why, yet I saw on his belt the five letters

That instantly answered my question:

G R A C E

Thankfulness

This will be short, but I just wanted to say...I am so thankful for all the people I have in my life and for God! Today I was thinking about how blessed my life really is, and it just puts me in awe! I love my Savior more and more each day, even when life is frustrating because I know He is really all I need and the One I can truly depend on the most! I am soo thankful for my sweet sweet husband! I really am incredibly humbled and thankful that he would want to be married to me...and that he loves me so much! Even in our times of sadness or anger, it's good knowing that we will get through it together. I mean, to be married to my best friend, means I don't have to face certain things without a partner there! And I really and truly believe God gave me him a long long time ago!! And my family...my parents are my rock and people I know I can depend on for advice, for fun, for laughter, for hope! They really mean the world to me, and I just can't imagine this life without them in it! And my lil' sister...not so little anymore and truly my best girl friend! I am so thankful to have grown up with a little sister, even when we didn't always get along, she was there for me....always willing to give a hug, show her love, pray for me, etc. And I hope I have done the same for her! And she graduates soon to go to law school and I know with God's help and guidance, to be come a Supreme Court judge! I believe in her dreams too because I believe God gives us all a dream to live out! And this one is hers, and I couldn't be more proud of her! And then there is my extended family...I know that when the going gets tough, our family will stand together! I know that I can count on prayer...I know that I can count on safety! I know that I can count on my family! Not everyone can say that...and I am so blessed that I have some very special grandparents (that I truly adore), aunts, uncles, and cousins that I admire and love wholeheartedly!

And my friendships...you know throughout life, I have made friends, and then when I moved, I didn't get to keep many of those friendships. But amazingly, since I moved to Ohio, I have kept these friendships! I have kept a couple very close friends from high school and I am reconnecting with some other friends from high school (and this includes my husband...he's been through so much with me!). I am blessed with a few special friends from college that I am truly grateful for, and then there are the few friendships I have made in Philly and back here in Dayton. I have learned so much from all of you, and I hope this friendship only prospers! I love you all! And there is my small group...where I have met people who are truly like family. You know the people you can call up late at night if there is something wrong, and they will be there for you in prayer, and will come over if you need them. I adore every single one of them. I love my church as a whole, and special people I have been meeting who really seem to care about me and my dreams! Thank you!

And my job...I am learning so much there, and this is a job that really pushes me to become even more! I am grateful to have a job in this economy for sure, but also one that makes me happy.

So yeah...very thankful tonight...I love you all, and you have made my life great because you are part of it!

Defeating Negativity

So I have been putting off for the past year taking the P.E. Exam again since I didn't pass it the first time...and it has been sitting in my mind for a little while. For those who don't know what the P.E. Exam is - it's this exam you take after you pass the first exam (Engineer in Training). Once you pass the P.E., you are part of this exclusive club of maybe 5% of all engineers. Essentially, you take on more risk as an engineer because you are able to sign off on design projects that go out, and if something goes wrong, then the blame comes to you. Scary stuff in my opinion, but you also don't have to sign off on any project if you don't feel you should. So, you could become this P.E. and never sign off on a project. But anyways, I took the E.I.T four times before passing it. It was my biggest challenge, and God was the one that helped me pass it. I know it!

You see, ever since I graduated with my engineering degree, I almost feel like a fraud. Even working in the environmental engineering field, I still feel like a fraud. I am not sure how I even got my degree, let alone have been successful at my job. When I lost my job in New Jersey, I was certain that I was found out - that I was found out at being the worst engineer in the world who somehow skated by. And when my supervisor at the time told me I wouldn't make it in an engineering firm, I almost believed him...but then me being stubborn, I didn't like someone telling me I wouldn't make it. That seemed too final and he wasn't God, so how dare he tell me something like that.

So now in a week, I celebrate 6 years at my company here in Dayton. 6 years!!! That is quite the accomplishment in my book. Not only have I lasted there 6 years, I am being asked to be a part of a lot of cool projects and opportunities. But I still fear...I still fear that they are going to see that I am fraud. I don't feel like an engineer. I don't feel like I am smart or have the capability to be a professional engineer. Reason I say that is I know it was God all along who helped me. I KNOW I didn't become an engineer on my own. I KNOW that I didn't pass the E.I.T exam on my own. I KNOW that I wouldn't have stayed at my company for 6 years all on my own. I know all of this. But for some reason, I have allowed my negativity about taking the P.E. for second time dissuade any hope of passing....and I am not sure I really care if I do.

Yet there is that part of me that feels just like I did when my former supervisor told me I wouldn't make it....why can't I pass this exam? If God was the one who helped me through my degree, and if He was the one who helped me stay at a company that is really quite awesome for 6 years, and if He was the one who helped me with the E.I.T....why couldn't He help me on this? And I think the issue is my negativity...I think I have all these negative feelings about what I am capable of, that it makes me think it isn't possible. But why? I really have no reason, other than my own feelings about myself and my intelligence. I feel like so many other people comprehend things better than me...I feel like the dummy who got a degree in engineering...and it scares me. I am scared weekly that someone is going to see I am not good on my own.

But then the words of a verse came to me...."'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most glady I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

See if I know that God helped me through all those other times in my life, He can do it again. I alone was weak, and I alone didn't have the capability, but with Christ, WOW! Look what He has done! His power was resting on me when He made it possible for me graduated with a chemical engineering degree...His power was resting on me when He made it possible for me pass the E.I.T. exam....His power was and continues to rest on me as I have worked for 6 years at my company...and every week, His power rests upon me to do things I couldn't even imagine I could do. So with this P.E. exam, I need to realize, that when I work with God...when I give it to Him and give Him the reigns (but I do the work to do it because God doesn't want us to be slackers), His power will rest upon me to pass the P.E. exam. I am weak alone, but with God...I am so strong!

So here's to 8 months of studying really hard and putting forth my best effort...and then me and God will go in that study room of a hundred engineers and WE will take that exam together. And see, with the God of the universe on my side, I don't need to be afraid! <3

Reflections on Valentine's Day

What are you doing for Valentine's Day? Nothing, some romantic dinner, baking valentine cookies? Where did this tradition come from?

History
The origins are pagan, and not at all Christian.  Cupid ("god of the heart") was the "son" deity also referred to as Tammuz, Nimrod, and Osiris, just to name a few. He is shown with an arrow representing Nimrod as the "mighty hunter". It's said he would shoot people in the heart. His mother was Venus, Semiramis, Juno (depending on where you were) who was the goddess of love, fertility, women. She was celebrated on the 14th of February.

The next day the feast of Lupercalia began in Rome. On this day, Roman boys and girls who were usually separated would come together. The boys would draw girls' names out of a jar and would be partnered with them for the duration of the feast. Some even remained together into marriage. During this time, perversion and drunkenness was openly expressed. Flowers and sweets were offered as sacrifices to the gods.

In later days, during the rule of Emperor Claudius II, enrollment for the military had been down. He believed it was likely due to men not wanting to leave their wives for battle. So he banned all marriages and engagements in Rome. St. Valentine was a priest during this time. He secretly married Christian couples until he was arrested. It was ordered that he be clubbed to death and decapitated as a result. He was believed to have been martyred on February 14th around the year 270 AD. And some sources say that it may not have been that day at all. And one legend states that while St. Valentine was in prison, he took a great liking to the prison guard's daughter who would visit him. It's said that the first "valentine" was sent to her being signed, "From your Valentine". As an attempt to rid of the pagan traditions of the days, Roman Church leaders substituted many of thpagan names (female deities as far as I know) of feasts and festivals for Saints names instead.

God and Love
Well how do we place God in all of this? Some people are single or way too young to have a companion. And if you are married, should your love only be celebrated one day out of the whole year? Nah. The more I think about love, I think about God. I mean until recently, I didn't even know the full reason for Valentine's Day...it was just a day to be with the one you love, or when I was a kid, pass out valentines to your classmates and have a party! But Love....God is love. When I think of Someone who exemplifies true love that is unconditional, my thoughts go to God. "For God so LOVED the world, that He gave His Only Son, that Whoever believes in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life." ~ See that is love. The pain, the separation from God, the agony that Christ went through just so that we could have a relationship with Him - ummm, that's incredible! As a female, I tend to be very critical of myself, but when I think of the fact that the God of the Universe who has everything and made everything and knows everything and is SOOO BIG that he breathed the very stars into existence, wants a relationship with little me....how can you not be amazed at that kind of love?! So honestly, even if you don't have a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, that's okay. Because I know that God adores you and loves you with a love that no one can compare. He chose you...He wants you...and He showers love like no one else in the world can.

Friendships and Love
And another thought came to my mind...friends. Close and true friends are also Valentines. When you have a friend that you can go to with anything, that will pray with you, talk with you, hold you, cry with you, and just be there...that's a friend that everyone needs. "If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble." ~ Ecclesiastes 4:10, NLT. We all need those people in our loves, and even God's Word expressing how important it is that we have someone to hold us up and help us. And I've been in a place, where I felt like I didn't know who my friends were, but something I am really learning is if you want a friend, you have to be a friend. You have to put the action and the investment in as well. You can't just assume it will just fall in your lap. Love is an action...not a feeling. What you feel is great...but those feelings can go away when things get hard. Get up and be the friend you want to have! I have few people in my life that I consider to be those kind of friends. But the ones I do have, I cherish! So when I think of Valentines Day, I also think of my close and dear friends.

My Traditions

I think taking a day to celebrate the ones you love is very important...and no I don't only celebrate my love for them once a year. But sometimes, it is in these moments where you reconnect your love, or you remind yourself who makes the world great because they are in it. We all need reminders, and I think Valentines Day is a great day as any to do that. My longest running tradition is with me and my sister. My sister, Jennifer and I have been doing valentines for each other for a LONG time! Even when I moved away or when she went to college, we always sent something (and the rules are...it should be creatively made in some way...you may have to buy certain things to make it, but it shouldn't be just buy chocolate and a card). I love this tradition...and even though sometimes our valentines come late (that tends to happen when we are so busy), it is something we both love to do. Even with a husband, I recognize that my sister is truly one of my very favorite Valentines!

And my other tradition is with my husband, but even when we were dating, we would make valentines. None of this buying expensive gifts thing...whether it's in art, poetry, or some other expressive way to show our love, we do it. I remember the very first Valentine my husband (then boyfriend) made out of construction paper, pen, etc. He made this heart book with poems he made for me. So cute! Valentines Day shouldn't be about the money, but the time you put into something special for that person. And this year, we are going to be celebrating Valentine's Day the weekend right after (since it is on a Monday). That weekend, we will be going to a couple's event at our church, as well as going to our favorite restaurant, and giving our valentines. But mostly it really is a special time to reconnect with each other, and enjoy our time with each other. No phones, no email...just each other!

So whether you have a date or not, I hope you can see that Valentines Day is really just a day to celebrate your love with the people you love most...whether that is your spouse, your boyfriend/girlfriend, brother or sister, mom or dad, or best friend...and when you do celebrate...think of God. God blessed you with special people in your life as a way to extend His arms in love to you. Maybe take some time to thank Him for the special people He gave you, and also thank Him for the love He has for you! Because there is no greater love!

New Year - New Goals and Plans - New Friends

So I haven't ever written a blog before, and I normally put some summaries of things going on in my life on Facebook, but I like the idea of writing down my thoughts, providing more details of the events in our lives, and even some of my poetry. So here it goes...

It's 2011, can you believe it? We are now in February, and I am amazed at how quickly the month of January came and went. I feel like my brain hasn't caught up with time. I wanted to 2010 to be a year that was mine...and I am not sure I even understand what that all meant, but for some reason, I thought 2010 was going to be the best year ever, and that I would grow closer to God, and my friends and family. Well life happened instead of my plans! And some of those things did happen, but some just fell apart. 2010 was a year of sadness, anxiety, frustration, good times and bad times, but then in the end there was lots of happiness, renewal, and fun! I learned this year in a hard way that friendship cannot thrive on just one person making the effort. I learned that sometimes you think you know people, and find out you never really did. I learned that to have friends, you need to be a friend. I learned that laughter is truly needed in any relationship! I learned that sometimes you have to fight and stand up for what you want to get it, even if there is a cost. I have learned that I am a creative person, and that when I take the time to be creative, I can create beautiful things (i.e with photography (my new found love), scrap books, videos, etc). I learned that marriage can be difficult with finances and other such things that seem to get into the middle of it. I also learned that it is possible to come out of those hard times and become a better person. I learned how to be content (or I should say I am still learning) in what I have and where I am in life. I continue to learn that God gave me the very best husband in the world for me because he truly is a man of strength and character that I fall more in love with and admire more each day.

This year - I don't want to make goals or plans that are stupid...it's not like a new years resolution because those always break. But, I want to be a better person...I want to speak kinder, love more, and act on my love for others more. I have some big dreams too and I have even dreamt of them in my sleep. But all along, I don't want to look at anyone and want what isn't mine. God will show us where He wants us, and He will guide us in His perfect timing. He will provide for our needs, and in the end, in His timing, we will reach our dream. After all, God orchestrated my love story so perfectly with my husband. Our love story is one for the books, and it was written by Him. So if He can make our love story, He can do anything else perfectly. I will rely on Him, and not on myself. I will submit to His will, and not my own. Because ultimately, his timing and His will are incredibly perfect!

I also am making new friendships and solidifying old ones. But I have found that my stronger relationships/friendships are the people that will pray for me, call me to hang out or just see how I am doing, and that we can talk for hours about anything and everything. And it goes both ways...I pray for them, will call them, and love to talk for hours with them. I am tired of those relationships that are just so phony...that you know when you turn your back, they won't give you a second thought. I appreciate the ability to even reunite with old friends on facebook...I love that there are people who I probably won't see and live all over the U.S., but we can still pray for one another and be there if they need us.

So my prayer for 2011 is to be a Godly woman in my actions (not just words), and when I fail, don't let it distract me from getting back up again. I want to be a person of compassion that reaches out to people (and doesn't expect that they will reach out to me first). I will be the kind of friend "that sticks closer than a brother." I also pray for my dreams, but submit those in His hands because without Him, it's all pointless anyways! I also pray that I am Sarah Marie Taber, and no one else. God has me here at this moment, and where He leads, I will follow.

But if you could keep me in your prayers that I stay strong and stay fervent in prayer, and that I truly let my actions show the love of Christ in me.

Til another day, I bid you farewell...