Taber Family Travels: Mountain Retreat, Holding On To Promises, and Celebrations (Summer 2013)

So much has happened in the past month...I went to Colorado again June 29th through July 1st (mostly for work), but I had the best retreat and time with God that weekend in the mountains. And "it just so happened" that this trip to Colorado fell upon the one year anniversary of my Gabriel's passing to heaven. I was really worried about how I was going to get through it, and then the trip fell on that weekend. As my Mom has said, she thinks this was one of those examples of God "winking" at me. He gave me this beautiful time being where I am truly happy - the mountains of Colorado. It wasn't even perfect weather, but somehow, I just felt like God had His Loving Arms around me the whole time. I visited the Garden of the Gods, and I went to a scenic view to see Pikes Peak and Colorado. My hotel was facing the mountains, so I had such a gorgeous view, and thankfully because of hotel points, I stayed there for free! I truly believe the trip was designed by God for me...He knew I needed that time with Him. I felt his presence and it was just wonderful. In fact, one of the photos I captured, really looks like hands...and I just viewed it as God's Hands!

Garden of the Gods

Garden of the Gods and Pikes Peak in the Background

Pikes Peak - So beautiful!!

Taken from my hotel bed - this was my view as the sun was setting

Can you see the Hands?! So believe those were God's Hands!

I still miss Gabriel, that's for sure. And when I came back, Todd and I took the day (July 2nd) off because we felt it was important to take the time as a remembrance. You probably think I am crazy because I miss my baby that I never got to meet. You probably think I have no clue what it means to be a mom, but if you think those things, you obviously have no idea what it means to lose a child. No I didn't know what my baby's face looked like, and no I never got to hold Gabriel - but there was love and dreams for that child. We had been dreaming of that child for so long, and there was so many hopes and dreams, and then to lose that dream in an instant. Very humbling and very difficult. We will never be the same, so if you expect that, it won't happen. This has changed me and my life is different. I do see how we are to hold loosely those things or people in our life we hold dear because we aren't guaranteed even our next breath. So if nothing else, this year, I learned how to appreciate every moment with your loved ones, enjoy every opportunity given, and also trust in God in a way I have never done or known. I still feel lost sometimes, and sometimes I fall back, but God is my strength and I can and will be strong. And I know that God's promises are true and that someday, Todd and I will be a mommy and daddy of a baby here on earth. The Lord's ways our not our ways, and I trust Him with that.

But July was also a month of preparation for my sister's wedding! We had our last girly night together with her being unmarried, and we talked about the upcoming wedding, went shopping, went to a baseball game (Dayton Dragons), and we watched a girly movie too!

And then it was rehearsal day - lots of reunions with her friends, the rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner. We went to Olive Garden for our rehearsal dinner, and it was such a bonding time. Wes gave my Dad a check for 24 million (fake big check) because my Dad was always saying how marrying Jennifer wasn't free and that he wanted to get paid. Haha! And then Wes brought out this big check...great moment!

We stayed up so late the night before finishing up some decorations and talking...just the bridesmaids, bride, and Mom and Dad! It was memorable!

Then comes wedding day - the day finally came! The church is absolutely beautiful and is located at St. Clare's Convent - Very ornate and beautiful. The reception was at the Centennial Barn, and it was very beautiful too. My feet hurt like crazy - the things you do for pretty shoes! But I won't remember all the pain from the shoes - I will remember the way Jen looked as she came down the aisle with my Dad, and the look on Wes' face! It was priceless. Their giddiness was so cute, and that's how it should be! It was beautiful seeing their first kiss as husband and wife, and it was wonderful being around loved ones that mean the world to us. We had some people not show, but in the end, those who really mattered, those who really cared - they were there! And now Jen and Wes are on their honeymoon in Utah. So looking forward to seeing them before they head back to Virginia. :)