A Year Later....Great Is God's Faithfulness

So this time last year, as most of you know, Todd has a very bad accident on some ice where he shattered his elbow! And every single Dr. told him that he managed to break it in the worst way possible! So comforting, right?! Well, just two days after his accident, he had to have surgery to put in metal that would help with the healing process. We thought this was the worst of it all. Unfortunately, we had no clue what the next year would entail.

Laid up on the couch on Thanksgiving Day 2014 with his little boy! 

During the week of New Years, we found out that Todd had an infection, and so he would have to have another surgery to remove it. We did not know at the time it was MRSA! For those who know little to nothing about MRSA, this is bad stuff! We went through a total of 9 surgeries in 9 months time to get rid of the infection and also remove the metal once the elbow bone had healed! MRSA is so bad that it can even lead to amputation or death! We're not talking a simple "infection"! Thankfully - it never came to that point. But Todd scared himself to death with the research when he found the worst case scenarios. And let's face it, we ended up with some bad scenarios. To finally rid of the stuff, we had to have a pick line placed inside his body (close to heart) where he would have to inject the antibiotics himself twice a day! We also had a home health care nurse that would come once a week to take blood and change bandages, etc. During this time and every time he had a surgery for a few weeks, I would have to help him with a sponge bath. I also changed out a lot of bandages. I am quite a pro at wrapping up bandages now. I also know infections and whether it is a sign of a problem or not a problem. I think we both got a psuedo-medical degree in this process - haha!

Saying it as a summary in a single paragraph (as shown above) really doesn't grasp the whole ordeal. You see, Caleb was just 6 months old when he had the accident, and I became a "single parent" for a good portion of the next 6 months of his life. Todd was on pain killers and trying to get better for a good portion of the next 6-9 months as well. And I'm not sure how many of you have had to take pain killers, but he wasn't always "with it" because of the drugs. It was necessary to help him with the excruciating pain he was going through. And many times he would wean himself off the drugs sooner than when the prescription would run out as he was afraid of ever becoming addicted to the stuff.

And an accident like this doesn't just affect the one who is in the pain. I'm not saying that it was harder on me (I couldn't possibly say that, as I didn't have the broken elbow nor all the infected areas)...but it was hard. Because on top of taking care of our baby, I had my husband to help get dressed, washed, bandaged, etc. I also had to arrange my work schedule to make it possible to take Todd to appointments and surgeries, and then also make sure my son had care, whether by our sitter or by my parents. And seeing your husband go through this for months, it was just hard. It was hard not being able to "fix" it. Or when your son wants his Daddy, but he can't be in his arms, it was so tough! Todd was upset because he wanted to be there, and he couldn't, and Caleb didn't understand what was going on. I think that is why to this day, if Todd is around, Caleb is attached to him. Those two are two peas in a pod, and Caleb wants all the time he can get with his Daddy.

Every month that we thought we were on the mend and it would end, then the sign of infection would show up. And we heard from many well-meaning people during this time that we should have switched doctors because it was their fault or whatever. I understand the thoughts, but some people are more prone to getting infections than others, and we had done our own research as well. He was one of the small percentage of people that get MRSA. But the more you have your arm open, the more chances of risk you get too.

Thankfully after the IV of antibiotics, Todd was able to take pill form antibiotics (the highly potent form was $12,000 for a month supply) and no more needles! He used to hate needles and was afraid of them, but after going through this ordeal, Todd is a pro now. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not.

Fast forward to today - he is taking antibiotics until the end of the year. This isn't as high of potency, but Lord willing at the end of this year, we will be done with antibiotics for Todd. His arm is healed, and he will likely only ever have 75% of muscle control in that arm (as in surgery #7, they had to remove some muscle that got infected).He is making great strides in working his arm through natural use therapy, but it has been tough. Todd has moments where he is sad that it will never be 100%, but it isn't worth another surgery to try to fix it as the risk of another infection is way too high.

So that's just the physical part of this ordeal. On top of that there was the emotionally, spiritually, and mentally draining aspects.

As a man, you don't want to be sitting on a couch having your wife take care of everything. He wanted to help even though he couldn't. I was only so patient for this past year, and I definitely had moments of complete exhaustion where I just felt like I couldn't do it anymore. I cried more times than I could ever count. So did Todd. Our life revolved around keeping Caleb healthy and unscathed by all of this, and helping Todd with his recovery. Our marriage took a bit hit during this past year. Our family life was quite hard.

And spiritually - it was hard. I'll be very honest, the "church" wasn't there for us as I expected. I don't want to dredge up all those feelings again as I feel I've moved on, but we just didn't have the spiritual support that we expected. I think this experience really just emphasized to me how I want to act when others go through tough times. I refuse to be selfish, and I hope I can be an encouragement to others when they are going through a tough time. I will aim to be Jesus to those people who need help because they need support and encouragement.

And even though it was so hard, we still saw God's faithfulness. Some of these things we didn't really see for several months. But we did see many instances where God didn't abandon us:

• The many prayers we received from people who couldn't possibly be here for us. We literally had prayers from people all over the globe! 
• A year later, we still have to deal with the last of antibiotics, but his arm appears to be free from infection and is healed. 
• Todd can lift his arm up to the highest shelf at home and even in the grocery store. Thank you, God! 
• Todd can carry groceries and carry Caleb! Thank you, God! 
• Todd is back to helping out at the house and has been working for quite some time now. 
• Caleb's bond with his Daddy has only enhanced. 
• Spiritually speaking, I also believe we were weakened in our own strength so that we learned how to depend on God solely. 
• God gave us the special gift of Caleb a few months prior to his accident. Some would say that having a baby with such a horrible experience would be impossible. But, our Caleb kept our family tight and together. His laughter, his joy, his life, his learning - all were things that kept our family going. I have always been a worrier, and at the hardest emotional times this past year, Caleb's smile and laugh soothed that pain. He was an integral part of our healing and coping through this rough experience. Caleb is truly the biggest blessing of our lives. I know without a doubt, that if Caleb hadn't been around, I believe Todd and I may not have lasted. I am so grateful for our son for so many reasons. He is our shining star for sure! 
• Caleb is still growing and learning and doing so well! He is excelling in his motor, verbal, and social skills and has been unscathed by this past year! Thank you Jesus! 
• Financially speaking - God provided. We had to pay many medical bills at the end of last year (on top of the bills from having Caleb earlier in the year), and we had many more medical bills this year! I am thankful for good insurance through my company as it could have been worse! 
• We survived on less than 75% of Todd's income for a good portion of this past year despite all of the medical bills too! 
• Even when our old sitter decided to stop watching Caleb, God provided us with Miss Jane who is an amazing woman that Caleb loves. She is a Godly woman that prays for our family and is such an encouragement to me. 
• Though he had to have surgery a week after Caleb's first birthday, we were together as a family and with friends and had a wonderful time! 
• We gained an appreciation for what it means to be compassionate.In my prayer life and also in response to others needs, I learned even more what kind of person I want to be for others. I pray on my knees more than I ever did before. I believe I am a better listener than I used to be as well. 
• It's true when God says He will give you what you need when you need it. I never thought I would be able to handle it all. But God gave me strength I didn't have. I didn't have it and yet He supplied it! Thank you Jesus! It was an impossible strength that He made possible! 
• My husband and I have been able to get away and reconnect like we needed so badly! We had a wonderful anniversary and appreciate each other more than I think we ever did before! There is no doubt about love for each other. I mean, you can't show much more love than when you have to clean your spouse or help him get dressed because he can't do it himself. He doesn't doubt my commitment to us and neither do I doubt his. I love him more this year than I ever did 7 years ago on our wedding day! And I believe our vows have much more significance this year than ever before! 
• Family time is more precious. You just never know what can happen or when, and there is a deep appreciation for every moment we have with each other!

I know there is likely more, but I think this is a pretty good list explaining God's faithfulness in the midst of this storm. I wish I could say I don't worry anymore about stuff, but I do still. I am a work in progress. But I don't doubt God's grace, mercy or love. Life can sometimes suck big time, but God is always there holding us up. And I believe whole-heartedly that in our brokenness, we continue to learn dependence on God and not ourselves.

So this year as I think of what I am thankful for, I just wanted to say thank you to the few that were there for us physically and for those that prayed for us!  I believe we couldn't have survived this past year without those prayers! To my family - my son Caleb, my parents, my sister and brother-in-love, and the Creamer family, you are the best family a person could ever ask for!

And to my Lord and Savior - thank you for holding us through the bad times. Thank you for helping us get through the storm. Thank you for loving us even when we were mad and blamed You.

So hold your loved tight this holiday season. Appreciate the time you have. Never take those moments for granted. And take time to really think about what you are thankful for. And I guarantee most of that list will be the people God has placed in your life. Take time to tell them how much you love them and appreciate them. We are not guaranteed the next hour...so make it count!

God Bless and Happy Thanksgiving Week!

Most thankful for my beautiful, little family!